I’ve always had this thing about “Hard Times” it’s like whenever something bad happens, I have to turn it into something positive. It is my survival mechanism. What I DO NOT do is talk.
Particularly not to other men. In fact I’ve been looking through my many Whatsapp groups and working out that women, football, the next big rave and fights seem to make up the vast majority of the content.
The death of a breddah has impacted me and others who knew him in a very scary way.
It’s made me think about my own mental health. (Jeez that bit was hard to write)
As a black man, I am not supposed to be vulnerable, that is a sign of weakness and we ain’t weak. We are the toughest, sexiest baddest, most virile men on the planet. We don’t get sick, don’t go to the doctor, don’t say we are struggling and badman definitely don’t cry. So what do we do?
You get to an age and you think 💭
Is this it? Where did all those dreams go? What have I got to show for my life?
What hope is there that things will get better?
Who has my back? And in my case, if I was going to let it go, I mean really let it go, who could I trust?
This might be too deep for some people, I get that. You’re ok, you’re coping, you got it going on.
Here is a HEADLINE 10 second search of google
Suicide is the single biggest killer of men aged under 45 in the UK. In 2015, 75% of all UK suicides were male.
Men in mid-life, from disadvantaged backgrounds are at more risk of suicide.
Men are four times more likely than women to die from suicide. Learn why this is and what can you do …
There are literally hundreds of stats like this.
So that is why I am writing this post.
I survive by helping others. It is MY WAY of coping, maybe it makes me think less about my shizzle (something to address me thinks)
So here’s is the deal.
I have a show on bbc radio london and on Wednesday this week, between 7 and 8pm
I am dedicating the whole hour to how men deal with stress, why are men committing suicide, why so many of us are having breakdowns. I have been contacted many times by both men and women since my last post and wonder whether we could have that conversation on the radio. Probably not but I have to try. If by writing this or talking about it on the radio, we can help one person, then that is ok by me.
Please share, listen, engage. Tell me your story and I’ll tell you mine
Don’t keep it all bottled up. The pressure will build up and we might be tempted to use a permanent solution to deal with a temporary problem.
Eddie Nestor’s Drivetime
Wednesday between 7 – 8pm
Call 0800 731 2000
Text 81333 (write London at top)