I wish I had ….

Happy New Year!!
I’d planned to make my first musings of the year about New Year’s day’s #NoJoke and how much I want to do a live version. In fact I want to do a weekender. I want seminars on diabetes, prostate and menopause.
I’d like bosslady and Tiny to do fitness and myself,  Curtis, Slim and Jay to talk about mental health.
I want interaction from people live and in their homes. I want salsa and aerobics. I want an uplifting dinner and wonderful party where we celebrate life.
Thinking of how we get men to attend. Thought some fool might like to challenge me and Lisa in a domino tournament or something.
Im Thinking of how the procrastination can stop in 2024 and why someone would suggest I get freedom pass in June when everyone knows I’m only 30.
Thinking all this and then my producer reminds me of what kind of show I have got planned for today. 😭
I’ve got two shows I do annually that hurt.  One is the Cancerversary and the other is male suicide. Laurence was truly a legend. I met him when I was hosting a show on Choice FM in the late 90’s. He would come in and bring (and eat) a whole family box of chicken.  He was the talk of my wedding in Goa because he was confident enough to wear speedos at 19 stone.
When we had a get together in our new home, he came along and was intrigued by a group of people laughing at a picture. He later discovered it was him m and the budgie smugglers. The next time we got together, he was again the talk because he was down to 12 stone. He was that kinda guy. He helped so many people change their lives after that. Once I saw the darkness. We were both gambling addicts and it wasn’t good.
Funny thing is about addiction, even when you’ve beaten the one thing, it quite often is replaced by something else.
When things were not good financially he needed to escape the pain and that is what I think of at this time of year. The guilt is truly unbelievable 😭 Even writing this on the tube man.
I’m getting near to the big house and it’s just as well. I might say too much.
I’m talking to Clark Carlisle today and you might want to take a listen.
Hold loved ones dear. Make that call and answer that phone. I wish I had.


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